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The Nerd
“Like your whole life has been building Towards something?” ——by The Truman Show.
During my freshman year, I was a student majoring in Chemical Engineering and Technology. Of course, I didn’t like chemistry; I was reassigned to the chemistry major randomly by the system. (Reassignment means that I was admitted to the university, but my entrance exam scores didn’t meet the requirements for my preferred major, so I was randomly assigned to a different department with available slots.)
And after the first year, I transferred to the ACCA major (concentration: the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants) at my family’s request. Of course, Unfortunately, I didn’t enjoy accounting either. I struggled to find my true interests for a very long time.
In my final year of undergraduate studies, I participated in the graduate school entrance exams. I underestimated my performance, mistakenly believing my score would fall short of the requirements for my preferred school. Although I ultimately met the threshold, my lack of confidence before the release of the minimum passing score led me to doubt myself. My family, however, was deeply disappointed—not only because they feared I might fail such an important exam but also because they believed I lacked ambition, was overly reliant on them, and struggled to live independently.
To push me toward self-reliance, they gave me ¥8,000 Chinese Yuan (approximately $1,140) and informed me that I would need to support myself from that point forward, as they would no longer provide financial assistance. Believing it was just a stern warning, I left home with the money and began working to make ends meet.
Initially, I assumed their stance was temporary. However, when the money ran out and my phone broke during an audit-related work trip, I reached out to them for financial help—only to be refused. It was then that I realized they were serious about their decision. Feeling both upset and unprepared, I borrowed money from friends and classmates to cover my daily expenses.
I realized I couldn’t repay my debts with the modest salaries typically offered in China. Determined to find a solution, I decided to join China’s Foreign Infrastructure Aid Projects in Africa, which promised at least triple the income I could earn at home.
This decision marked the beginning of my journey toward financial independence and a new chapter in my life.
The moments when you decided to study abroad, when you chose your first career, when you fell in love after deciding on a partner, and when you got married—all were monumental changes of fate.Yet, standing at the crossroads, amidst the fleeting winds and myriad sails, the day you made your choice seemed ordinary and uneventful. It might even have been noted in your diary as just another day.
But a great transformation had already begun. Mountains shifted, the earth trembled, and you remained oblivious, thinking it was just another routine moment in life. Isn’t the rise and fall, life and death of this world, nothing more than the arising and passing of events in the stillness of time?"
——By "The Girl Who Killed Quails"
“当你老了，回顾一生，就会发觉：什么时候出国读书、什么时候决定做第一份职业、何时选定了对象而恋爱、什么时候结婚、其实都是命运的巨变。只是站在三岔路口，眼见风云千樯，你作出抉择的那一日，在日记上，相当沉闷和平凡，当时还以为是生命中普通的一天。
但一场巨变，已经发生了。
地动山移，浑然不觉，当时只道是寻常。世上的生死荣衰，不就是在空寂之中缘起缘灭的吗？”
—— 《杀鹌鹑的少女》